I bought a pair I bought a pair of Crocs yesterday.
The horror!!! This purchase was one of the most difficult I have ever made.
You see, I can’t stand Crocs. I think they’re:
- ugly
- clunky
- and overall pretty darn stupid.
I can’t believe how people around the world can’t get enough of these stupid shoes – there are Crocs shops everywhere, and on more feet than populate China!
Fake Crocs, even. As if someone would want to IMITATE those?!? Asian people love them, as do ex-pats and tourists. I just don’t get it…
To you whom I am offending with my opinion – I am deeply sorry. But you too have been brainwashed into thinking these injection-molded plastic sidewalk surfers are “fashion.”
Sadly, they are anything but. I have even told more than one friend to “shoot me on the spot” if they ever see me wearing a pair.
At least seven years ago, my friend Moriah showed up at my apartment in – gasp! – a bubblegum pink pair of Crocs. “What are those?!?” I shrieked in dismay, backing away, as if from a stray cockroach.
“Those are HORRIBLE!” I exclaimed.
“What do you mean, what are these? They’re Crocs. Oh, my you are a fashion dummy!” she replied. “These are the most comfortable shoes in the world! Look at those boots on your feet! Now those, my friend, are a problem.”
“What’s wrong with my Steve Madden army boots?” I asked defensively. “I have had these forever. I wear them every day!”
“That’s precisely my point. They are OLD. Out of fashion. Look at those big clunky things?!? Awful! I bet they even smell bad! Anyways, boots are pointy now. Everyone knows that!”
“Well, your Crocs sure aren’t pointy – and they’re PINK for God’s sake! I can’t believe you would wear those out of the house!!!”
We went back and forth for a few minutes in this way, then agreed to disagree on the Crocs AND the boots.
Fast forward seven years or so, and yesterday in Singapore I was shopping for a pair of simple black shoes acceptable for work here. My selection criteria:
- Not canvas (my Tom’s were great, but could have walked away on their own after last summer);
- Water-resistant – leather or some other material that can stand up to the rainy streets;
- Comfortable, especially for standing on tile floor for hours; 3. A good fit – my feet are difficult, and fully resist “shoes;”
- NOT sandals.
- Somewhat stylish. I’m no fashion plate (as indicated above), but I do want to look somewhat up-to-date.
I found a MASSIVE mall right across the street from the office where Ismail processed my Visa (the reason for the trip). I settled in for a day of much-needed shopping. I had a list that I followed pretty closely. “Black shoes for work” have been on that list for ages, and I’ve been looking around everywhere I go.
I tried on a few pairs of black flats at a couple of stores. All were wrong in some way.
- bad style
- uncomfortable
- pleather (plastic leather)
- bad fit.
I am picky, and as this will be the first – and likely the only – pair of shoes I buy in 2012, they must be perfect.
After having no luck on the first three floors, I rode the escalator up to the fourth floor of the gigantic mall. As I emerged on floor four, it appeared right in front of me: Crocs. Ugh. Should I go in? No way. They would be waterproof, and Moriah says they are comfortable. But I can’t! I won’t! I… MUST! I shan’t!!! I….
The battle in my brain waged on and I took a peek inside. Eee-gads! Horrible-ness everywhere, in every color of the rainbow!
The little plugs that people use to decorate them were also strewn about the store, which was crowded with both people and shoes, and very cluttered. Ugh!
And then I spotted them hanging on the wall (which I also find objectionable):
The Horror!
- Not canvas – check.
- Water-resistant – check.
- Comfortable – oh, no! Remarkably so!!! And they fit so well…
- NOT sandals. Whimper. Check!
- Somewhat stylish. Yes… sigh.
- They’re also super-light, un-crushable… oh noooooo!!!
Okay, so I bought a pair of Crocs and I’m actually looking forward to wearing them to a meeting today.
And then, when I take off my “work” costume I will slip back into beach-bum mode and don my Reef flip-flops. Which might in fact need some updating as well. There were some cute ones in the Crocs store, and I know I can find one of those in Kuta…
Bwahaha… I myself don’t like them, and one of my European friend told me that GEOX (can only find in 1 shop in Singapore) is way better. But… those that you bought looks exactly like what my wife ended up wearing for teaching. B-) And your “black for work” criteria fits well for Indonesian workers, so I guess you are now 10%… OK…, 15% more Indonesian than before.
We really enjoyed this-funny-I will be interested to her an update-comfortable as they are supose to be.If so I may have to venture into those waters.We have a huge crocs store in Michigan City.