This morning even after a decent night’s sleep I feel like my guts are twisted into a bow fit for a Christmas Lexus.
I’m scared sh*tless. Questioning everything in a life that’s been predictable and comfortable for so long has the potential for massive anxiety. Yep, definitely feeling that.
I have always been a risk taker and have lived to tell about all the big and stupid risks I have taken. Climbing on the roof of Rector Hall at DePauw (well, my whole 4 years at DePauw was a series of stupid risks); learning how to rock climb just to feel the rush of being scared sh*tless while watching the lightning move in; dropping cornices in the back bowls of Copper Mountain; learning how to skateboard at 32; learning how to surf at 42.
This time feels very different. Looking at that list of big risks and my injured body, I have always been willing to take physical risks. Mental and lifestyle risks, maybe not so much.
Now I’m literally throwing myself off a cliff in terms of “major life changes” – taking on many of the biggest ones simultaneously. You know how they say that you shouldn’t quit your job and make a big geographical move in the same year that your cat dies… blah blah blah. Well, I’m piling it on voluntarily.
At 42, I am finding myself, my passion, my calling. I’m leaving many of the comforts of my life behind, trading for insecurity which I feel will eventually allow me to trade up to ultimate freedom and success.
Scared sh*tless, for sure.
HEATHER!!! LIVE your dreams woman. You are doing it while people like myself sit back and continue to dream of life’s endless possibilities and what we could or should or want to be doing. You are my idol, hero, inspiration and I love, respect, and commend you in all you have accomplished and are involved in pursuing. Thank you for sharing what life has to offer as long as you put a little or most times alot of effort in it’s 10 fold what you get back – you’re seeing the world in real life I am viewing it from images shared. Interaction with people to me is the most enriching experience ever. I’m so proud of you… STRONG WOMEN ROCK! You are such a huge example of what living life is all about…Keep doing it!
Awesome, Heather. It sounds like you’re learning to fly…. like an eagle!
And why not Heather? The comfort zone offers affirmation rather than growth. The stretch zone creates the possibility of new direction, new growth, a redefined you. Our exestential (sp?)family, our soul group, does not settle for more of the same. In fact we become depressed and unable to move, literally and figurativly, when not stretched. And stretched is the operative word. We stretch, we do not break.
Wow! Thanks my awesome girlfriends! Your encouragement means more than I can express. I’m still scared to death, but having you with me makes it all so much easier and worthwhile:) xoxo
I love it! Love the risk-taking and inspiration that you give! I have taken a couple myself, career change, etc….there are many more that I hope I will take sometime too. Thanks for being such an inspiration for it….YOU ROCK! You said it all with your words 🙂
As my sister says Heather, “Leap, and the net will appear.” Good for you!